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This is a personal piece of mine that I wrote in a very dark state of mind a few nights ago, while seriously thinking about finally getting treatment for my depression and anxiety. I wanted to illustrate my thought processes when I am at my lowest possible low. Reflecting on those feelings and anxieties I create, and how I look at those thoughts with a clearer mind.
I’ve struggled a lot with myself over the past few months, going back and forth about how I should go about treatment. I’ve always been scared of seeking help about my depression and anxiety, and I kind of hoped that I would somehow teach myself how to cope on my own. But as of late, it seems to have only gotten worse. And with that realization, it hit me hard. Looking back on what I had written, I thought it would really help me overcome my fears and my anxieties about seeking out treatment by expressing it through my art.
I finished it in about 6 hours, without drafting, creating thumbnails or planning. Just did it all straight on the computer, so I apologize if anything looks rushed or things don’t quite flow well together. I didn’t change much in how I wrote this note to myself that night, so once again, I apologize if some sentences are awkward. I felt like it would be powerful to leave it as it was when I was in that state.
This piece has a lot of personal meaning to me, and I hope that sharing it will help me overcome the obstacles I need to face as I seek help.
Dylan, you are one of my best friends. I love you so much and I’ve known this is how you feel for a long time, but it still makes me hurt inside knowing you are feeling these terrible things. I’ve always tried my absolute best to be there for you and help you in anyway I can, even if I didn’t really do a good job or know what I was doing. But I swear that for as long as you want me there, I will be there to love and support you.
But let me tell you something; you are an incredibly strong person. You deal with so much in your life and from your own emotions, but you do amazingly brave things like post this comic about your personal battle with anxiety and depression. And on top of that you still smile and laugh through things, help others when they are suffering, and over all be an amazing human being. That thats an amazing amount of strength, far more then most people have in them. Your art work is amazing, you are fantastically kind, hilarious and fun person to know and we all love you for it.
You will never, EVER be a dissapointment to me. You make me so proud of you and remind me every day, just how lucky I am to know you.